The 5 love languages by Dr Gary Chapman

“The Five Love Languages” is research carried out by Dr. Gary Chapman in the field of maintaining successful relationships. Dr. Chapman argues the importance of understanding the type of love personality you possess as well as your partner’s so that you can have a successful relationship by communicating with each other in your desired love language.

Each couple has differing ways of expressing and receiving love.

1. Words of affirmation:

Words mean the world to this type of person. The more they hear “I love you,” with compliments, the happier they get and you are most likely to get a better response from them.

Insulting these individuals is the worst type of way of hurting them.

2. Quality Time:

This personality needs to be given undivided attention.  Eye contact is important. Listen carefully to the needs of your partner without trying to do other activities simultaneously.

These types of personalities feel neglected if they do not receive your full attention.

3. Receiving Gifts:

The best way to speak the language of love to this individual is to give a gift and s/he will feel appreciated and as a result because this person feels such happiness, they will respond to your needs as well.

Gifts do not have to have a monetary value. It is the thought behind it that makes this individual feel happy. The idea that their partner was thinking of them as they bought or made the gift is the most important aspect. The more the thought has gone into the gift idea i.e: tailor-made, the happier your partner will be.

When these personalities do not receive a gift – they feel unappreciated.

4. Acts of Service:

This type of person appreciates it when you help out with chores etc. Work which needs to be done is your way of saying I love you and is stating that I am here to help you in whatever you need doing, even if it is as tedious as sweeping the floor.

This is not to say that you become the servant to your partner. It is simply a way of telling your partner that you love them and are willing to do things you do not particularly enjoy in order to keep them happy.

5. Physical Touch:

This person needs to be touched as much as possible. This does not mean hugs and kisses all the time. Just a simple gesture such as holding hands or sitting closely can make all the difference to this person feeling accepted by their partner. Hugs, touching and caressing are important in showing affection and love. Physical closeness helps to relax them and feel loved.

Pulling away physically is a sign you no longer care.

Try to understand your own as well as your partner’s love language.

Understanding your partner’s love language helps you to connect with each other at a personal level. It involves putting the needs of your partner at the same level as your own.

However, it is also very important to define your own language of love. Understand yourself better by learning about what your requirements are in love.

To find out your own personal love language – take the test at:

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