Waiting

They told me to move on and I showed them I had. I pretended to smile, but the knife had cut deep. I am still waiting. For surely one day you will come home, back to me, where you belong.

I get on with the daily chores of living and there is no sign of you. Not yet anyway. The children will be home soon so I must get their supper ready. I am waiting…

I see you on the street walking hand in hand with another. You walk on by, barely noticing me. I feel hurt and vow to move on. But when I get home I choose to wait.

Nobody really understands the deep internal pain. They just tell me to move on and yet nobody shows me how. So you see I am still waiting.

The children are teenagers now, living a life almost independently of their own. They never mention you anymore as neither do I. But in my heart, still I am waiting…

Each night, when everyone has retired and gone away or I come home from a hard day’s work, I cry myself to sleep because … you see I am still waiting.

I hear your laughter ringing in my ears each time I think of you, along with the tears. The words you used to say linger in my mind still, right to this day as I am waiting.

It wasn’t so long ago that we used to stay out late and have fun filled evenings of pure delight. The memories have stayed with me this long as if it were yesterday.

Tired and withered … I am still awake. Too much effort to keep this smile plastered on my face. I am a grandparent at 58. If only you would come my way … I’ll just wait.

When they ask me how I am, I say I am fine. I know it’s mad when I look at this empty space beside me and I think of the good times we had …I am still waiting.

My future lays optimistically in front of me, they say, full of wonder and glory but I know I will still be waiting… because you see, one day, you will come back to me…

That’s why I’ll just wait…because as you left me all those years ago, that’s what you told me to do … and because I have spent my entire life waiting and I don’t know what else there is to do… so it’s best to just wait…

By Ms April Showers

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