You held my hand when I needed you. In this light I could see right through your sad smile. You were worthy and stood the hands of time.
Sturdy and so sure of yourself, you backed me up in my time of crisis. As little children, we ran across the green grass and into the comfort of your home. Your mum was always there for us, when mine was constantly knocked out.
So envious was I of you, and I didn’t stand a chance in hell. Your neighbourhood so out of my league. You had it all. You were the beauty and I, the beast. Even now this thought makes the hands of time stand still.
Each night we would sneak out and enjoy the pleasure of a summer’s evening. Having fun and just chilling. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We stayed in our childhood, much the same.
You met him when I was not there. Gone away I was, to achieve my life’s aim of becoming a musician. When I returned, there you were, all snug in your twenties and sure of yourself. As you twirled to show me you had grown into a beautiful woman. Although I loved you, standing beside your magnificent beauty, I felt like a dork.
You were so unaware of your striking beauty and your magnificent presence. So naïve and yet so talented in whatever you did. You seemed to know what you were doing but sometimes you hesitated to ask for help when you needed it the most.
So I left you with him, safe in heaven. Years later, you turned around and accused me of deserting you. I had thought you were happy I said as you signed the divorce papers crying on my shoulder.
I loved you then perhaps less than I love you now. Through all the difficult times you were there for me. Never judging and never predicting. You picked yourself up and up you went. Staying down was never your thing.
Our paths crossed over again, in line, all over again. You did not understand my need to be free from my family. You made me promise to work things out with them, which I did.
There I was again, this time by your deathbed. You couldn’t fight the cancer anymore despite many an attempt. I stood by you through it all. You told me that I was the reason you had survived so well.
Rest in peace my best friend. The tears trickle down again. I wipe them clean, for I must stay strong. For this little beautiful daughter of yours is here to hold my hand. Beside your grave, we both stand.
Frozen in time your beauty and personality has become immortal. Your memory lives on in my mind forever more. When you passed away and left me with your child, her beauty radiated your memory all over again. Once again for me the hands of time stood still.
By Ms April Showers