The Good the Bad and the Ugly

Accept yourself

Leading on from my last post about finding your inner self, it is also important to accept yourself as you are. To begin that journey of positive change, we need to identify who we really are in terms of the good and the bad. It may seem like an easy task, but many people do not even know the basic essence of themselves.

Others may know you better than you know yourself. If you find that many people are consistently describing you as something you vehemently believe you are not, perhaps now is the time to address that issue and confront the side of yourself you had denied. This is the most important part before you can accept yourself in reality.

Identify your inner self. You can do this by describing your inner self without using the external labels such as teacher, mother or even housewife. Value your inner self. Get in touch with your inner desires. Who is inside you? It could be a scary answer such as the wicked witch and you want to hide her from the world. The negative side of yourself is there because you have not been tending your inner needs properly. In other words, you have been neglecting yourself.

How can you be a good mother, sister, or husband, if your inner self is unhappy? This does not mean to say that you should neglect your duties in any way. It means you can fulfil your duties enjoyably by paying attention to your own needs as well as others. Find that personal balance and your life will become more satisfying.

Get in touch with your negative side and find out what is causing it to rear its ugly head. Perhaps you have anger issues. If you choose to ignore this part of yourself, you are not doing justice to yourself. So the basic requirement is to analyse yourself objectively.

Your good points work positively for you. Your bad points have their uses, e.g. anger can ward off enemy but when used in the family situation it can cause more harm than good. In this instance anger disrupts family relationships which results in your inner self becoming unhappy and discontent, thus fuelling more anger.

So instead of pretending you don’t have an anger problem, you can actually address it and use it to your advantage. You can then learn to control this bad habit to suit you. In this way, instead of being a bad habit, anger used correctly becomes a good habit simply because you have manipulated it to suit your advantage.

Once you have established who you are as a person, you can then actually build a positive relationship with yourself. It is difficult to have positive relations with others when you have a poor self-image of yourself.

If you are looking to escape a mundane life by seeking thrills elsewhere, ask yourself, why you want to escape and establish small steps towards a better self. You might begin by reassuring yourself that everything will be o.k. If you are overweight, you need to identify this and accept it before you can do anything about it. If you are an addict, again the answer is to identify it first.

Overcoming the first obstacle is to address the self-denial. Once this has been established you can make plans to move forward successfully.

Accept your inner self for who and what you really are including the good, the bad and the downright ugly.