Alone but not lonely

“The trouble is not really in being alone, it’s being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd…” – Christine Feehan, Dark Prince

Quite a while back in my life during one of those lonely evenings, I sat contemplating the lessons I had learned from a separation from my husband.

My daughter came across me in such a mood and asked me what the matter was. I told her how I was thinking about the fact that I was truly “alone.” After a bit of deliberation, she commented;

“You’re alone but not lonely.”

I was rather taken aback by such a wise comment from a young mind. She went on to say,

“Look how you are doing all the things you had been putting off while you were with dad.”

That’s when I realized that yes I was indeed happy with my life because since her father left, I was doing all the things I had ever wanted. It got me thinking:

  • Alone and lonely – such similar words but evoking two distinct types of feeling.
  • How many millions of people are out there not even realizing the difference?
  • How often are we alone and how often out of these times do we feel lonely?
  • Surely we can feel lonely even when we have a good partner because we can’t seem to connect for some reason or other?

If you are a single person as opposed to being part of a gorgeous couple, you may have mixed feelings. You may feel lonely when you see couples together. You may miss your relationship. This is all natural and understandable.

Your mind can play tricks on you by reminding you of what could have been instead of what really was. It depends on the type of mood you are in that you influence the memories and distort them to fit your frame of mind.

The benefits of being single can be quite attractive really:

  • You get to sleep however you like.
  • You can have control of the T.V remote – unless your children are in control.
  • You don’t have to worry about sharing or compromising – you can do things exactly as you like.
  • You can eat whatever and whenever you like. No more keeping the dinner warm and simply waiting…if that’s what you usually ended up doing.
  • You can wear whatever you like. The only person you will offend is yourself and that’s if you choose to look in the mirror.
  • You don’t have to indulge in pass-times that you don’t really enjoy, just to keep your partner happy.
  • It’s cheaper – you get to save on birthday and other gift times. The thought you have to put into getting ideas on how to cheer up your partner or other issues to be resolved, that time can be saved too. Go treat yourself instead!
  • You can be as selfish as you want and indulge yourself without having to worry about a partner.

Call yourself single instead of alone. This is your status. Enjoy it while it lasts. You never know when you might bump into Mr or Miss perfect. Until then enjoy your own company and that of your friends.

When that special someone sees you relaxed and comfortable in your own company, you will look confident and more attractive instead of desperate to find a mate. Enjoy this moment of being single. Beware though for it may not last forever, especially if you are having too much fun!

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