This is an old idiom meaning that it is wiser to judge others by their actions rather than the words they use.
Simply put, the way we behave is more important than what we say. Our actions are dictated by our natural feelings which are difficult to fake. So even though we may lie by saying, “I love you” to someone, our body language and response tells another story. If we do not love someone genuinely, our body language can easily give us away.
Our actions speak louder in the context of saying that you may respect someone but then continue to treat that same person badly. When words and actions do not tally, then actions speak louder because they portray your natural feelings towards the person concerned.
We may have been scarred in our past and we continue to act this out in a negative way. If you make a promise to someone then try to keep this promise, otherwise don’t say you will do something that you have no intention of doing. Just think of how you feel when someone you love does not keep their word.
Our behaviour tells others a lot about the type of person we are, what our intentions are and even our way of thinking. We can say one thing but mean another. When our words convey a certain meaning but our actions convey something else, it is the actions which speak the loudest.
For instance if we say “I love you” to someone and then do not back it up with our actions, such as showing this love in the way the other person appreciates, then the case will be that our actions speak in volumes than words.
If you don’t feel that you going to stay with someone then the best thing is not to deceive them with your words for your actions will give you away.
If someone claims to love you but treats you badly either by being disrespectful or even to the extreme of being violent, then start to take stock of their actions.
Even if someone behaves as if they are in a relationship with you but treat you with disrespect with their words, this is hurtful and is an indication that it is time to gain some self-respect and with the dignity you have remaining, either hold that person responsible or pack your bags and leave.
Either way, it is time for your actions to speak louder than words instead of second guessing the motives of the other person. If the other person does not show you respect verbally or through their behaviour then perhaps that person is not really worth your time and effort.