Nobody likes the idea of following rules. In fact many people hold the concept that rules are set to be broken. But sometimes rules can help improve your lifestyle and set boundaries, making your lifestyle clearer to manage and handle and gain respect from others for your discipline.
I came across this wonderful list of 20 general rules regarding a good relationship. When you read them, they make perfect sense and some of us live by these rules without even realizing it. Some rules may come as wake up calls for some people.
1. Free yourself from negative people – This is actually easier said than done. Surprisingly the impact negative people can have on us on a daily basis can be detrimental. When we are exposed to negative feedback on a regular basis, we can end up internalizing this.
2. Let go of those who are already gone – We may think and indeed believe that we have moved on but this process can take longer than we care to allow. This particular rule can apply to people who have died as well as people we have broken up with. We may end up holding onto remnants of what could have been unconsciously.
3. Give people you don’t know a fair chance – Sometimes we can become so embroiled with familiarity that we forget to even notice anyone new and fresh who can serve to impact our lives positively.
4. Show everyone kindness and respect – A wonderful general golden rule which we can easily forget to endorse, especially when we are with regular people who sometimes have to tolerate us at our worst when really they should be at the receiving end of our best behaviour because we love them so much. You may even impress a stranger to make ourselves appear good and neglect the ones who know us inside out.
5. Accept everyone just the way they are – Sometimes we can be on a mission to change someone into something they are not – or even to change the world. But truly we can only change ourselves. Even if we do change others, it will probably be on a superficial level. We can only try to have a positive impact on others.
6. Encourage others and cheer for them – We all need encouraging at some stage of our lives and isn’t it wonderful when this encouraging cheer comes unexpectedly. So why can’t we offer the same value to others who need it the most but don’t ask?
7. Be your imperfectly perfect self – So we all may think we are imperfect, even those who are airbrushed beautifully gracing the front covers of a magazine. But it is okay to be imperfect because that’s how we were made to be and that is the secret of being perfect.
8. Forgive people and move forward – Holding grudges can mess up our emotional state of mind as well as affect our physical health in the long term giving rise to illnesses such as high blood pressure. To keep the mind body and soul in good condition try the art of forgiveness.
9. Do little things every day for others – Doing things for others brings happiness to your life as well as taking you away from your own stressful situations. These things are often appreciated by other people, leaving a better impression of you upon them.
10. Always be loyal – What is the point of having a relationship if you cannot be loyal? So loyalty is a compulsory ingredient if you are serious about a relationship. How would you feel if you found out that your partner has not been loyal? Ouch!
11. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you – It is easy to lose touch with those you take for granted. People who are always there for you seem less important in the grand scheme of things when you are too busy chasing what may sometimes be unattainable.
12. Keep your promises and tell the truth – How many relationships break up because this simple rule is not adhered to? No matter how bad things may look and it may become tempting to tell a little white lie, once you start there is no going back and when your lie is uncovered it leads to bad credentials and a loss of trust.
13. Give what you want to receive – When you give a gift, don’t necessarily give what you particularly wish to receive but give it with thoughtfulness and love from your heart and the other person is sure to understand and appreciate. If you pay attention to the other rules you will know what your loved ones would appreciate anyway.
14. Say what you mean and mean what you say – This honesty thing like keep your promises rule is a basic theme in relationships. When you make a commitment do with all honesty with meaning behind it.
15. Allow others to make their own decisions – Do you sometimes get tempted to ‘control’ the decision making ability of others. If you do this often then you are not allowing the other person to be themselves – which can border on control freak. Yes trying to influence the other person and using subtle emotional pressure counts as intruding….
16. Talk a little less and listen more – Do you ever wonder after a conversation if you got your point across or did you actually understand what the other person was trying to say. If you come away thinking you have ‘won’ then perhaps you had not really been listening at all.
17. Leave petty arguments alone – We have all done this. We allow pettiness to overwhelm us and it can mask the bigger issues which remain hidden in the background. What a waste of energy and precious thinking time!
18. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself – So up until now, the rules have all been about interaction with other people. Now is the time to ask how do you treat yourself? If you do not treat yourself well then chances are you will not really treat others so well either. Speak to yourself kindly and you will as second nature treat other with kindness too.
19. Pay attention to who your real friends are – Real friends can sometimes appear to be enemies especially when they dare to voice criticism you cannot bare to face. Spot your real friends amongst the foe and appreciate them.
20. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary – This criticism aspect links well with the original rule of avoiding negative people. If you are in the company of a work colleague you have no choice but to bear this, but you can choose to ignore the hurtful comments. Constructive criticism is what you need to help improve your life.
Keep these types of rules and regulations and you will have a successful relationship with yourself as well as others who will no doubt respect a person who has he utmost respect for themselves.
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