20 Respectful Relationship Rules

Nobody likes the idea of following rules. In fact many people hold the concept that rules are set to be broken. But sometimes rules can help improve your lifestyle and set boundaries, making your lifestyle clearer to manage and handle and gain respect from others for your discipline.

20 Relationship Rules List

20 Relationship Rules List

 

I came across this wonderful list of 20 general rules regarding a good relationship. When you read them, they make perfect sense and some of us live by these rules without even realizing it. Some rules may come as wake up calls for some people.

1. Free yourself from negative people – This is actually easier said than done. Surprisingly the impact negative people can have on us on a daily basis can be detrimental. When we are exposed to negative feedback on a regular basis, we can end up internalizing this.

2. Let go of those who are already gone – We may think and indeed believe that we have moved on but this process can take longer than we care to allow. This particular rule can apply to people who have died as well as people we have broken up with. We may end up holding onto remnants of what could have been unconsciously.

3. Give people you don’t know a fair chance – Sometimes we can become so embroiled with familiarity that we forget to even notice anyone new and fresh who can serve to impact our lives positively.

4. Show everyone kindness and respect – A wonderful general golden rule which we can easily forget to endorse, especially when we are with regular people who sometimes have to tolerate us at our worst when really they should be at the receiving end of our best behaviour because we love them so much. You may even impress a stranger to make ourselves appear good and neglect the ones who know us inside out.

5. Accept everyone just the way they are – Sometimes we can be on a mission to change someone into something they are not – or even to change the world. But truly we can only change ourselves. Even if we do change others, it will probably be on a superficial level. We can only try to have a positive impact on others.

6. Encourage others and cheer for them – We all need encouraging at some stage of our lives and isn’t it wonderful when this encouraging cheer comes unexpectedly. So why can’t we offer the same value to others who need it the most but don’t ask?

7. Be your imperfectly perfect self – So we all may think we are imperfect, even those who are airbrushed beautifully gracing the front covers of a magazine. But it is okay to be imperfect because that’s how we were made to be and that is the secret of being perfect.

8. Forgive people and move forward – Holding grudges can mess up our emotional state of mind as well as affect our physical health in the long term giving rise to illnesses such as high blood pressure. To keep the mind body and soul in good condition try the art of forgiveness.

9. Do little things every day for others – Doing things for others brings happiness to your life as well as taking you away from your own stressful situations. These things are often appreciated by other people, leaving a better impression of you upon them.

10. Always be loyal – What is the point of having a relationship if you cannot be loyal? So loyalty is a compulsory ingredient if you are serious about a relationship. How would you feel if you found out that your partner has not been loyal? Ouch!

11. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you – It is easy to lose touch with those you take for granted. People who are always there for you seem less important in the grand scheme of things when you are too busy chasing what may sometimes be unattainable.

12. Keep your promises and tell the truth – How many relationships break up because this simple rule is not adhered to? No matter how bad things may look and it may become tempting to tell a little white lie, once you start there is no going back and when your lie is uncovered it leads to bad credentials and a loss of trust.

13. Give what you want to receive – When you give a gift, don’t necessarily give what you particularly wish to receive but give it with thoughtfulness and love from your heart and the other person is sure to understand and appreciate. If you pay attention to the other rules you will know what your loved ones would appreciate anyway.

14. Say what you mean and mean what you say – This honesty thing like keep your promises rule is a basic theme in relationships. When you make a commitment do with all honesty with meaning behind it.

15. Allow others to make their own decisions – Do you sometimes get tempted to ‘control’ the decision making ability of others. If you do this often then you are not allowing the other person to be themselves – which can border on control freak. Yes trying to influence the other person and using subtle emotional pressure counts as intruding….

16. Talk a little less and listen more – Do you ever wonder after a conversation if you got your point across or did you actually understand what the other person was trying to say. If you come away thinking you have ‘won’ then perhaps you had not really been listening at all.

17. Leave petty arguments alone – We have all done this. We allow pettiness to overwhelm us and it can mask the bigger issues which remain hidden in the background. What a waste of energy and precious thinking time!

18. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself – So up until now, the rules have all been about interaction with other people. Now is the time to ask how do you treat yourself? If you do not treat yourself well then chances are you will not really treat others so well either. Speak to yourself kindly and you will as second nature treat other with kindness too.

19. Pay attention to who your real friends are – Real friends can sometimes appear to be enemies especially when they dare to voice criticism you cannot bare to face. Spot your real friends amongst the foe and appreciate them.

20. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary – This criticism aspect links well with the original rule of avoiding negative people. If you are in the company of a work colleague you have no choice but to bear this, but you can choose to ignore the hurtful comments. Constructive criticism is what you need to help improve your life.

Keep these types of rules and regulations and you will have a successful relationship with yourself as well as others who will no doubt respect a person who has he utmost respect for themselves.

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Quotes from Keep Calm and Carry On

Keep Calm and Carry On Book

Keep Calm and Carry On Book: Ebury Press

My love of quotes is a well-known hobby, so I often receive wonderful quotation books such as “Keep Calm and Carry On”, a saying which was made famous originally from the World War 2 posters. I am not sure if these little booklets are hints from my children about keeping calm. I think I am a wonderfully calm mother but perhaps they have another perception and they do not wish to shatter my illusion that I am indeed wonderfully calm, loving and accepting – Well I certainly try to be!

The Little Book of Keep Calm and Carry On Quotes opens with a wonderful and adequate quotation from Benjamin Franklin:

“Wise men don’t need advice. Fools won’t take it.”

This quote certainly made me laugh because it rings true in so many respects. I claim neither to be wise nor a fool. So for those of us who are somewhere in the middle, share the following quotes in their categories, firstly from the “keep calm” section, followed by “carry on”.

KEEP CALM

Crisis – “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it’s quite possible haven’t grasped the situation.” – Jean Kerr

The Economy – “It’s a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.” Harry S. Truman

Economists – “An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.” – Lawrence J. Peter

Speculation – “The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” – Frank Hubbard

Business – “Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.” – Karl Marx

Banking – “A Banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” – Mark Twain

Money – “Credit is a system whereby a person who cannot pay gets another person who cannot pay to guarantee that he can pay.” – Charles Dickens

Debt – “Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.” – Benjamin Franklin

Greed – “The darkest hour in any man’s life is when he sits down to get money without earning it.” – Horace Greeley

Work – “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates

CARRY ON:

Mistakes and Failure – “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

“The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one.” – Elbert Hubbard

The Good Life – “The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness.” – William Wordsworth

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness – “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” – Aristotle

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise man grows it under his feet.” – James Oppenheim

A Good Walk – “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” – Anne Frank

Friendship – “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

Thrift – “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

Don’t Worry – “I am an optimist. It doesn’t seem too much use being anything else.” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M Schulz

Coping – “Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” – Lord Byron

“The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.” – William Shakespeare

Consolidation – “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.” – Michel de Montaigne

Change – “If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change, If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry it’ll change.” – John  A Simone Sr

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point being a damn fool about it.” – W C Fields

I hope these quotes bring you motivation and inspiration sprinkled with laughter !

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7 Deadly Sins Opposites – Heavenly and Holy Virtues

The 7 Heavenly Virtues

The 7 Heavenly Virtues

In my 8 posts about the origins of the 7 deadly sins and overcoming each of the sins in their uniqueness, I thought it only appropriate to add to this the 7 heavenly virtues as stark contrasts to the sins.

History of the Seven Holy Virtues

Although there are various sets of virtues such as spiritual, natural, cardinal and heavenly, amongst many, the focus of this blog post is on the list of heavenly virtues which are in direct contrast to the seven cardinal sins as listed:

Heavenly Virtue Cardinal Sin Latin Virtue
Chastity Lust Castitas
Temperance Gluttony Temperantia
Charity Greed Caritas
Diligence Sloth Industria
Patience Wrath Patientia
Kindness Envy Humanitas
Humility Pride Humilitas
Heavenly Virtues and Cardinal Sins

Heavenly Virtues and Cardinal Sins

The 7 contrasting list of holy virtues was defined by Pope Gregory during his revelation of the seven deadly sins. The list of virtues is a counter balance to the sins for people to adopt almost as a measure to avoid the cardinal sins.

1. Chastity: This virtue does not simply focus on the control of sexual misconduct, it also features heavily the act of honesty and purity within the soul to remain clean at all levels including the basic body hygiene, mental thoughts, as well as desires of the soul. This virtue involves a sense of morality and honesty a broad level including to the self as well as to society. Avoiding temptation and intoxication of all types including internal and external influences as it is very unlike the sinful act of LUST

2. Temperance: This virtue focuses on purposeful mindfulness of other people as well as surroundings. There is a focus on self-control by abstinence of quick gratification. There is also a need to keep a balance between the needs of others and your own. It is in stark contrast to the opposing sin of GLUTTONY

3. Charity: This virtue is often confused with the idea of always “giving” to others in charity but does always mean as such – in its broader terms it also connotes generosity and “love” for humankind as opposed to lustful, emotional “love”. Charity can also involve certain levels of self-sacrifice. This virtue focuses on avoiding selfishness as opposed to GREED

4. Diligence: This virtue is concerned with the actions of mankind and work ethics, hence the “hardworking” description of such people. It encourages a good and faithful mind-set in terms of remaining steadfast in your personal belief system and therefore living in a pious way. Having a deep sense of integrity is important as is the the ability to remain resolute in your aims of good ethics. Also remaining alert and active in life’s way as opposed to the sin of SLOTH

5. Patience: This virtue is concerned with general peacefulness, especially in the field of conflict resolution. Therefore it is important to develop the skills and ability to avoid violence, instead indulging in forgiveness and having mercy on other people. It is a virtue which places importance on understanding and a sense of community feeling instead of taking revenge as in the case of WRATH.  

6. Kindness: This virtue appears to be self-explanatory but there is a deeper meaning to this word “kindness”. Although focusing on charity and the act of compassion, there is also a focus on inspiring other people in a positive manner. Part of this virtue includes loyalty and empathy and satisfaction. There is a general sense of self-worth which is strength in itself, rather than wanting what others have which only encourages the sin of ENVY.

7. Humility: This virtue promotes selflessness and modesty. It also promotes respect and courage whilst living the humble life. Acts involving bravery and courage strengthens the character and resolution. Humility almost borders on altruism, allowing the self to face up to events in life posing uncertainly and the pressures of experiencing and dealing with fear. This virtue is in direct contrast to PRIDE.

Although the 7 heavenly virtues are originate from a Christian background and therefore connote a religious reasoning, they are nevertheless a very good way of addressing the 7 deadly sins, even in modern times. As such, these virtues are useful in all aspects of living an overall balanced life, and should not simply be confined to the religious sect. These virtues and others like them are adaptable to suit humanity overall no matter what an individual’s background may be.

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The Seven Deadly Sins Series

This begins with “Origins of the Seven Deadly Sins

1. Overcoming Lust as One of the Seven Deadly Sins  |  2. Overcoming Gluttony as One of the Seven Deadly Sins |  3. Overcoming Greed as One of the Seven Deadly Sins | 4. Overcoming Sloth as One of the Seven Deadly Sins  | 5. Overcoming Wrath as One of the Seven Deadly Sins  | 6. Overcoming Envy as One of the Seven Deadly Sins  | 7. Overcoming Pride as One of the Seven Deadly Sins |

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