Emotional Maturity

“A baby expects to be soothed, but a mature adult soothes themselves.”                             – Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Emotional maturity in a sense comes with age, but it does not grow as our physical body does. It is something which comes with learning from experience and interaction with other people. Understanding your own emotions is as important as understanding the emotions of others.

What is Emotional Maturity?

Emotional Maturity is the ability to interact with other people without succumbing to behaving negatively according to how we feel. When children don’t get their way, they can be prone to behaving in a manner such as sulking.

This is quite normal behaviour for a child as he does not understand the implications of the emotions he feels nor the appropriate response. However, when an adult behaves in this same manner, this in the eyes of many people is unacceptable as it portrays the adult as an emotionally immature person.

Emotions are valid. They tell us something about the moment we are experiencing. The way we choose to express our emotions defines whether we are emotionally mature or not.

On a personal level, individuals who are emotionally mature tend to exhibit the following skills and abilities:

  1. Are well balanced in whatever they do
  2. Follow through even difficult tasks
  3. Base decisions on factual information rather than always giving into their feelings impulsively
  4. Are generally honest and live according to their value system
  5. Know what they want and plan out their actions accordingly with patience and perseverance
  6. Take a genuine interest in other people
  7. Ability to understand the moods of other people and be cooperative with them – use teamwork effectively
  8. Ability to think before taking action – rather than act impulsively
  9. Take responsibility for their actions and accept criticism without blaming or becoming defensive
  10. Ability to analyse and let go of the past as well as then making the necessary changes needed to improve themselves
  11. Ability to admit to having made a mistake by saying “sorry.”

When adults begin to behave in an emotionally mature way, it is a sign that they have finally grown up. These mature types of adults use their senses, not only for themselves but to keep abreast of the feelings of those around them too.

It is hard to analyse your own emotional maturity, but one sure sign of emotional immaturity is if people begin to avoid interaction with you or are unable to approach you.

People are generally able to speak to an emotionally mature individual without feeling the need to dress up their story. If you are approachable you are probably displaying signs of emotional maturity anyway.

Take the Emotional Maturity Test at: www.mysticgames.com

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Beauty and the Beast

I define beauty and the beast as an inner struggle between the feelings of love and hatred, or our ability to handle the good feelings and balance them with the powerful negative feelings. The inner struggle of our feelings is constant and needs to be maintained well if you want to live a balanced lifestyle.

Human nature can be very unpredictable. At our worst we may not even understand our own fierceness and at our best, when we shine, the beauty within us shines bright like a star, transcending even our physical body.

Overcoming the Beast

However, it is when we are feeling at our worst that the beast within can rear its ugly head. We may encounter feelings of fear and inferiority at the most awkward of times. We may disassociate ourselves from the inner beast, blaming other people for our problems but ultimately we know the beast is a part of our heritage.

We cannot kill off this beast – it is a part of us – but we can try to tame and calm the beast so that we are at our best most of the time. When you feel irritated or angry, this beast wants to wake up. When the anger spreads, the beast grows as it is fed the right type of conditions for it to prosper.

By comparison, your inner beauty thrives on calmness and strength. But all this comes at a price. Although personality plays a great part in whether we are naturally calm or not, your inner way of thinking plays a vital role in keeping you continuously calm and collected. People who may be quiet on the outside may have an array of disharmonious thoughts going on in the inside of their head.

The stronger you are on the inside the more powerful your beauty is. It actually radiates. Get in touch with this beauty and allow it the freedom to grow. Nurture and love it, instead of being ashamed of it or trying to hide it away.

If you find you can switch from your one mode to the other rather quickly – how fortunate you are. It means you have the ability to control. Occasionally though, in our life we need to bring out the beast to protect ourselves and we have tamed it enough to use it when we need rather than allow it to control or rule us as individuals – humiliating and shaming us when we least need it to.

To balance your beauty and beast:

  • Tap into your beauty a much as possible by keeping your thoughts positive. Thoughts have a profound influence on your emotions. When your emotions are full of love, this keeps your beauty reigning supreme.
  • Allow your beast to remain dormant until you really need it to wake up. Before giving into your anger or hatred, ask yourself if hating will resolve your issue. Rather than allowing the hatred to grow, consider finding a solution to your problem rather than venting your anger.
  • Use your beast as a form of protection rather than something which rules your life. When you feel angry, unless you are in immediate danger and need to fight your opponent to protect yourself, try to divert your attention towards something more rewarding which will help calm you down.

Remember, you are the beauty and you are the beast. It is your choice as to the side you choose to become.

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Spiritual Awakening

12 Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening

12 Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening

In my early adult years, I put my soul to sleep without realizing it. I began to compromise my values and integrity. I chose to give up my inner self for a meaningless life searching for instant gratification. I sensed I was doing something unworthy yet I feared the alternative. What if I wasn’t good enough? What if enlightenment was all a big hoo-ha over nothing?

Feeling Incomplete

For years I wondered through life, materialistically satisfying myself, yet there was something missing. A vital ingredient in my life was simply not there. I felt incomplete.

In my thirties I set out in search of this missing part of myself. When I went in search of this missing ingredient, I spent much of my time looking for the puzzle piece outside of myself and in others. Sometimes when I was with the right person I felt the calmness. But mostly I found it hard to achieve on my own.

Years later when I reconnected I realized what it was that was missing. I had become so engrossed with the everyday practical side of living that I had forgotten to nurture my soul. This is because I was not concentrating on my inner self and allowing myself to grow. I was looking for external support. The support was there, all I needed was to have confidence in myself to become spiritually guided.

Around the time I hit the big four O, I saw clearly that keeping a balance between the physical world and the spiritual can be as easy as you want it to be. There is no need to be extra pious or religious to achieve this enlightening moment in your life. When you do the right thing by connecting with your inner feelings – you know you are on your way to achieving your wishes.

After much deliberation, I came to the conclusion that it was o.k that I was single. I confronted my fears and became wiser nonetheless. All the things that were going wrong before my eyes did not feature well. I learned to relax in my own company, whereas before I wanted to fill my time up and keep so busy that I would not be able to reflect on the path I was going down.

When you reach that tranquil moment – really nothing in the world can touch you more than connecting with your inner true self and coming face to face with your spiritual side. It brings calmness and tranquility of a kind that you have never experienced. Once you reach this moment, you never want to go back to that mundane materialistic lifestyle again.

People describe this feeling as one of connection and expanding love for everything. This is a unique experience of feeling a sense of wholeness and oneness with the world.

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