Without You

Without you I wouldn’t be the woman I became.

There is no longer anyone to tell me what to do.

Without you there is nobody to blame.

Finally I have to take responsibility for my life.

The bruises on my body have healed and I look fine.

Without you how could my black eyes shine?

The bruising in my heart remains true.

My pleas fell on deaf ears for without you there was nobody.

Now I can get on with my life for without you there is no crime.

There’s bruising all over, black and blue right through.

I tell everyone how I fell down the stairs.

Without you I get on with my life, not knowing when the internal pain will heal.

You always returned to me with a vengeance.

Each time I took you back not knowing any other way of life.

Without you I thought there was no life.

Now I see the reality of a new tomorrow.

Without you there is now renewed hope and a lot of light.

By Ms April Showers

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“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – Winston Churchill

Attitude really is everything. It is the building block for the way you live your life and it dictates the reaction you get from everyone around you. It’s sort of like your aura. Good or bad, this is what people judge you by when they interact with you.

Attitude can make or break you

Have you ever met someone, who doesn’t appear fantastic looking or isn’t well dressed, but when you engage in a conversation with them, you are pleasantly surprised? Well that person has the right positive attitude. Your initial impression of them will change when you interact with them simply because of their wonderful attitude.

Likewise, you must have met someone who looks attractive but because their attitude appears aloof or arrogant, you avoid them as much as possible. Needless to say, this is an example of the person with a negative attitude.

Although a positive attitude is fantastic, it is not physically possible to walk around with a constant smile on your face. Certainly though a frown is something to be avoided. There is an in between state that you could strive for.

If you are constantly reacting negatively, altering your attitude will definitely bring about positive change in your life.

How can you improve your attitude?

  1. Get a couple of opinions. You mother may think that your attitude needs a lot of improvement. Your friends may think otherwise and your work colleagues may not be able to tolerate your attitude. If people are avoiding you, ask yourself why this is the case.
  2. Audio record yourself interacting with other people. When you replay yourself, ask yourself if you would like to interact with someone like yourself.
  3. Assess where you can improve. Speak to people whose attitude you admire and observe what it is about them that you find attractive. Try to model that positive behaviour. Chances are you find their positive attitude attractive.

Attitude can work either way for you. Be careful how you interact with others. The reaction of others i.e. whether they respond favourably or negatively towards you is usually as a direct result of how you interact with them. If many people are being hostile to you or are avoiding you, ask yourself if it’s your attitude that needs to be improved.

Your feelings are usually a barometer of how well you are doing. If you come away from an interaction feeling positive then you have interacted successfully. When you smile, this relaxes you physiologically and your face gives the impression that you are indeed comfortable with the interaction and the other person’s attention will remain favourably with you for longer.

Assess your attitude in a serious light. Ask close friends and trusted colleagues their true opinion. Beware that your mum may love you just the way you are and therefore be just that little biased in her evaluation. If you have an overcritical partner – perhaps their valuation won’t be so balanced either.

But seriously, in your heart you know if your attitude needs to change – so begin that process with the small things in life as soon as you can. Then notice the difference even a small gesture such as a smile can make.

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Be Yourself

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I used to struggle with the concept of being myself because I was brought up to be a polite, obedient, well-mannered and an all-round people pleaser. The issue was not that I didn’t want to be myself, but how could I be myself in a world which wanted to mould me and influence me into becoming someone I wasn’t?

Being yourself can sometimes be the hardest thing to do

All around you  there are forces to try to shape you into someone you are not. There may be pressure from home, work, as well as social circles. So how can you be yourself in this evolving world that sometimes tries to crush your very soul? How can you leave an individual mark of your own without the fear of offending other people?

Well ask yourself this – how often do these other people take your feelings into account while they are living their life? How many times have you been hurt? You can’t please everyone – so you may as well please yourself because you have to live with yourself.

I am not implying that you should do whatever you want at the expense of hurting or humiliating other people. If you stick to your main core values, as a well-rounded individual you will not go out of your way to hurt or offend others. It is possible to achieve that all important balance in life.

Build up confidence within yourself if that is what you are lacking. Respect your values as you do other people’s values. You will find that other people will actually like and respect you for who you are. Polish up on your good qualities and allow them to shine. People will associate those qualities with you and your negative side will not be accentuated.

To begin with, get to know yourself. This includes your negative points as well as your strong points. Be at ease with your own company and others will be attracted to your wonderful qualities.

When you choose to copy someone else’s behaviour, for whatever reason, you are neglecting your true qualities. In this way you are not being yourselves. When you choose to be someone you are not, you will not attract the right type of people in your life. The people who suit you and could be good friends don’t know the real you and will never be able to connect with you because your true self is hidden away.

Good luck – you are a unique individual –so make the right choice by being yourself and keeping yourself that way. Choose to change because of your inner need to grow yourself, not simply to make others happy. If you are happy, others will be happy for you. If they are not happy for you, they are not worth your company.

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