What is a Relationship

A relationship is a connection you share with another person. The connection can be blood related or chosen or even forced as in the case of co-workers. A relationship is a two way interaction. Both parties are responsible for their actions and behaviour.

Relationships mean different things to each person. Some of the most vital elements involved in a relationship include values such as trust, friendship and familiarity.

Types of Relationships:

There are many types of relationships, of them the most common ones are:

  1. Romantic (Couple)
  2. Family
  3. Co workers
  4. Friendships / Platonic

Your relationships affect your mood and contentment levels. When there is disharmony in relationships it affects your way of thinking, thus affecting your emotions and actions. How you interact with others is very important as it has a deep impact on your emotional state. A positive interaction has a good effect on your overall state of self. It brings about satisfaction, contentment and even happiness.

Good relationships all share a varying degree of love in them. Often in bad relationships, people do not know how to improve the relationship and feel trapped. Neither are they able to give the relationship up for whatever personal reasons. This negative feeling affects their soul, causing emotional instability.

Judgmental people often remark that they would never tolerate what they see on other people’s relationship. Yet these same people may be tolerating to an extent something worse. For example when they see abuse in someone else they can identify it, but they may tolerate control issues within their own relationship that those other people would not tolerate.

In intimate relationships, your contribution to how a relationship shapes out is important. If you do not like the pattern, take steps to alter your behaviour towards the person. Knowing yourself on a deeper level will help you to have a better relationship with other people.

If your gut feeling is not to give up – then don’t. Successful relationships would never have been accomplished had the people involved given up. In fact, great relationships are achieved through hard work and dedication. This rule can be applied to any relationship not just in the case of couples.

Further Reading:


Hands of Time Stood Still

You held my hand when I needed you. In this light I could see right through your sad smile. You were worthy and stood the hands of time.

Sturdy and so sure of yourself, you backed me up in my time of crisis. As little children, we ran across the green grass and into the comfort of your home. Your mum was always there for us, when mine was constantly knocked out.

So envious was I of you, and I didn’t stand a chance in hell. Your neighbourhood so out of my league. You had it all. You were the beauty and I, the beast. Even now this thought makes the hands of time stand still.

Each night we would sneak out and enjoy the pleasure of a summer’s evening. Having fun and just chilling. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We stayed in our childhood, much the same.

You met him when I was not there. Gone away I was, to achieve my life’s aim of becoming a musician. When I returned, there you were, all snug in your twenties and sure of yourself. As you twirled to show me you had grown into a beautiful woman. Although I loved you, standing beside your magnificent beauty, I felt like a dork.

You were so unaware of your striking beauty and your magnificent presence. So naïve and yet so talented in whatever you did. You seemed to know what you were doing but sometimes you hesitated to ask for help when you needed it the most.

So I left you with him, safe in heaven. Years later, you turned around and accused me of deserting you. I had thought you were happy I said as you signed the divorce papers crying on my shoulder.

I loved you then perhaps less than I love you now. Through all the difficult times you were there for me. Never judging and never predicting. You picked yourself up and up you went. Staying down was never your thing.

Our paths crossed over again, in line, all over again. You did not understand my need to be free from my family. You made me promise to work things out with them, which I did.

There I was again, this time by your deathbed. You couldn’t fight the cancer anymore despite many an attempt. I stood by you through it all. You told me that I was the reason you had survived so well.

Rest in peace my best friend. The tears trickle down again. I wipe them clean, for I must stay strong. For this little beautiful daughter of yours is here to hold my hand. Beside your grave, we both stand.

Frozen in time your beauty and personality has become immortal. Your memory lives on in my mind forever more. When you passed away and left me with your child, her beauty radiated your memory all over again. Once again for me the hands of time stood still.

By Ms April Showers

Other Prose:

Waiting          Heart of Jewels          I have become you            Home


“My greatest challenge has been to change the mind-set of people. Mind-sets play strange tricks on us. We see things the way our minds have instructed our eyes to see.”

Muhammad Yunus

The type of mind-set you keep yourself accustomed to is an affluent part of your lifestyle. You can easily get used to a certain type of mind-set and end up limiting your options if you refuse to allow fresh ideas to influence your thoughts.

Freshness of a mind-set

The type of thoughts we have influence our feelings which therefore keep us locked in the regular way of thinking we develop over time. It is simply easier to add to the current mind-set than to re-evaluate the entire structure. As humans we can be rather prone to laziness.

Much of the time we get stuck in a certain way of thinking. This is because thinking in a certain way becomes a habit. Thoughts make up the structure of our mind-set. If you were brought up with your caregiver constantly berating you, or not encouraging you, chances are you have a low self-esteem. To gain more confidence in life you would need to learn to first change your thoughts and build them up to create a positive mind-set.

To bring about a fresh approach to your way of thinking, try the following:

  • Without influencing them, pay attention to the type of thoughts just running through your head. Are they positive such as “I can do this…” or more along the lines of “oh no – not again…”
  • Ask yourself what is making you think in this way. Try to remember what caused you to feel down about something.
  • When you understand the reason behind your negative thoughts, you will be in a position to challenge it and invert it to make it positive. For example “I can’t possibly do this!” into “I can do this!” or “I will do this!”

There have been many studies in this area. Carol Dweck is one of the leading experts on mind-set. Her research shows that you can possess a growth mind-set if you want. If you choose to remain stagnant in your mind-set, this is entirely your own choice.

People who make an effort to make a change are the successful ones. When you want a goal badly enough, one of the first things you have to do is to create the right mind-set to achieve that goal. This approach can power you up for the long haul.

Achieving the right mind-set means positive thinking and assurance as well as learning from your failures instead of using those failures as an excuse to give up on your goal.

Think about:

  • Have you ever tried to change your mind-set to achieve something?
  • Did you successfully overcome the obstacles in your way?
  • Did you notice that the obstacles you overcame were mostly psychological blocks you had inadvertently placed yourself?

Get your mind geared up for that goal you have always wanted to achieve.

Further reading:

Power of thoughts