“Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.” – Malcolm X
When Anger Strikes
When anger strikes you, it is difficult to think logically. Emotions make you go back to your primitive way of thinking and behaving.
There are two possible ways to deal with anger. You can allow it to consume you or you can use it to your advantage. When anger is left to its own devices, it can cause great havoc and rage mercilessly. However when anger is acted upon in a positive way, it can bring about great changes.
When you feel anger, first of all identify it as actual anger. Giving anger a name helps you to pause a moment without flying off the handle and doing something you may regret later. Identifying anger correctly also serves to mentally prepare you to not give in so easily to any aggressive or impulsive behaviour.
Get into the habit of asking yourself why you feel anger.
- Where is it stemming from?
- Are you neglecting yourself in some way?
- Are your needs not being met?
- Is there an injustice from your point of view?
- Is anger simply a habit that needs changing?
- Do you understand why you feel this powerful emotion which makes you want to change things?
There are many different types of anger. You need to identify the trigger and deal with this. Make the anger work to your advantage by using the energy to do something positive. When you feel this way, there is a conflict between your inner and outer world which has brought about this feeling of anger, be it irritation right through to rage.
In the western society, we shy away from showing emotions easily. Sometimes by shying away from publically admitting anger, we can also shy away from admitting it to our inner selves. In such cases, anger tends to stew and make you blow up on some other rather unfortunate occasion.
Sometimes when you feel anger, it is easier to blame external circumstances. But when this happens, you must reach deep within to identify the real reason you felt angry. It might just be that you are still stewing from a previous bad experience and take it out on someone who is quite altogether innocent!
You can use anger to make an internal change. Either accept the circumstances or when you see an injustice set about to put it right in the correct procedure rather than rant and rave. This will keep your energy focused on what you want to achieve instead of losing control over the situation.
Doing nothing will only serve to make the anger boil inside you like hot lava. Over time it can cause you to become bitter and resentful and something of a complainer who nobody really enjoys the company of.
Take the first step in recognizing that this anger you experience has to result in some type of change either internal or external. As external events are usually beyond your control, it is better to focus on internal changes. Make this internal change last for good. Become a better person for it.