Saying Goodbye to the Year

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss

Whenever the year ends, a part of me feels sad and reminisces about the past annual events. It’s an unusual mixture of missing the old memories while anticipating what lies ahead.

Nostalgia verses anticipation

Usually there’s an excited feeling of optimism mixed with the nostalgia of what I am saying goodbye to. It’s always hardest to say goodbye to anything I believe, but it’s something which has to be done to let it all rest. Reflecting on the annual events allows the year to be categorized overall as productive or destructive, good or bad, successful or a failure.

Nostalgia is exactly that – it keeps you fixated to what you want it to be and not really what happened. The end of the year marks the end of a little more immaturity in us. Looking back can make us that little bit more wiser, helping us to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

I read my diary to look over the written statements I made with a different frame of mind exactly a year ago. This reading reminds me of what my aims had been and what my stance was at the beginning of the year. By the end of the year I always ask myself:

  • Where am I now?
  • Have I achieved those aims?
  • If not, then why not?
  • What changes can I make to get what I want next year?

I allow my thoughts to run wild. I ponder on if I want to dispose of those aims now because they may no longer be suitable to my current lifestyle, or do I need to modify them in order to achieve the best that I can.

I also consider if my desires have driven me any closer to my aims. If not, then it means I need to re-evaluate and reassess my position and start over, perhaps with a new approach. I also ask these questions:

  • How have I grown overall and where am I still lacking?
  • Most importantly though – what have I learned and was this learning worthwhile?
  • How can I apply this learning to my future endeavours?

These reflections help to put all the bad things into perspective. I try to understand why all the bad events had to happen for me to improve and get better and grow in a way I could not have anticipated.

By the end of my reflection, I count my blessings and set new targets which are not so over challenging that they become unachievable. I then gear myself up and aim for the next dream, goal and project.

As I gear myself up, I also reassure myself and carry on – nobody around me even notices the changes I have undergone internally, perhaps neither do they care – because I am true to myself and do not change the good aspects of myself that others are drawn to.

My core values are intact whether anyone notices or not – and that is what matters to me – that I am evolving along the lines that I wish to out of choice for myself.

I then consciously choose to move on from the bad memories of the year by laying them to rest. These are my personal thoughts on the year. I am sure you have also mixed bittersweet memories overall of the year. Until my next blog, happy holidays and enjoy a wonderful new year!

Like me, let the ghost of the past rest in peace now and look ahead with optimistic eyes and hope for the future.

Heart of Jewels

I was found lost long ago – deep within my soul.

Touch my heart and you will find…a beautiful stone set with jewels.

Not a living breathing organ full of life, but still a beautiful heart I own.

The jewels dazzle but the blood runs cold and stops still.

A beautiful heart of stone is here in place of love or fear.

The midas touch is all mine, I can declare.

Go home and think about this golden heart of mine.

You will find, not a speck of dullness, there’s all shine.

This heart will never belong to you for it is fully mine.

Go home boy, now is not the time.

This heart will never belong to you.

Unable to share it, I cry inside.

But the pain is not strong enough to rip this stone apart.

The jewels that embed it are as strong as ever.

Love me less or love me more,

For it makes no difference to this heart of jewels.

I hear a ripple – delight in my pain.

How can I escape this heavy beautiful heart of mine?

You keep trying, but I can’t give you a chance.

All those lonesome years of loneliness are simply mine.

You, boy, will just be another beautiful gem stuck in that stone heart of mine.

So I tell you to go now, go, while you can.

If you can figure it out, you will escape.

If not, you will become embedded like a red ruby,

Shining like the others before you,

Forever in that beautiful stone heart of mine.

Deep within all those jewels is embedded a diamond.

Someone I lost and who is now far flung.

But the diamond is hidden, far from anyone’s vision.

Only I know of its existence, it is the core of this very stone heart of mine.

I search for the diamond’s owner, magnificent still.

But I know it’s too late and I shall never find him.

All the while in my search, I keep on collecting all these other beautiful jewels.

They come in great sparkling colours and magnificence.

But nothing compares to that simple but sparkling diamond,

It sits in the very core of me, killing me with its sharpness.

So intense in its light, so beautiful, it shines bright.

It remains embedded for life in this stone cold heart of mine.

The centre of this heart used to burn red and bright.

Always lit with the fire of passion and light.

It’s chilled right through now… still beautiful … but …

…icy cold…

By Ms April Showers

Ghost of the Future

Dealing with the ghost of the FUTURE

Finally, this post is for those of you who like to focus on the ghost of the future. In its negative form, this ghost is usually better known as anxiety.

When you stress about an event which has not taken place, your body responds to it as if it is actually happening. The hormones released by the body indicate you are actually experiencing the nasty event even if you are only thinking about it. This is because your mind is unable to distinguish between real and perceived danger.

Threats of any kind to your safety act as cues for your body to go into fight or flight mode. As a result of this, by simply thinking of panic thoughts, you make yourself more stressed than you need to be.Try different methods in order to bring your wondering thoughts back to the present.

When you think about the future it is best to focus on the good things that are possible. Ask yourself why you would be obsessed with something that is not here yet?

Concentrate on how to achieve success practically instead of just daydreaming.

On a happier note and something we could all do with a good sprinkling of, this ghost of the future can also be known as hope and optimism. When things are looking really bad, when you focus on possible good outcomes, your heart is filled with joy. When you keep yourself focused in a positive mood, the outcome is usually good if not better than what you are able to anticipate.

The ghost of the future needs to be addressed for several reasons. It is healthy to focus on the direction you wish to take in life which you can focus on in your present situation. By focusing on a future aim, you can better achieve your desired outcome in life. But when you begin to think obsessively about the future, it interferes with your present state of life.

Try the following ideas if you feel overwhelmed by the past, present and future:

  • Allow the three ghosts to dominate your life in a much more balanced manner.
  • Allow the past to teach you the necessary lessons when need be.
  • Allow the present moment to occupy tour mind so enhance the wholehearted experience of living in the moment.
  • Allow time to think and dwell on what you would like to happen in the future and take active steps towards that direction instead of focusing on what can go wrong. Focusing on the negative will only encourage you to fail. You need to concentrate on what you want to achieve and your mind will set to work by helping to create that reality for you.

For further reading about the fear of the future:

What is Anxiety