How to Change Your Life by Benjamin Bonetti

Two extracts from Benjamin Bonetti’s book entitled “How to Change Your Life” published by Capstone:

  1. The importance of being “the real you”.
  2. The Four Stages of Learning

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.”

The Real You…

When defining the real you, and breaking down your real purpose, it’s like that you’ll discover a mix of two or perhaps more “people” within a single description. These are the “characters” that make up your personality. However, your mind can become confused when being too many people… imagine trying to rehearse for a play and having to remember the scripts for two or three people; how long do you think it would be before the message became jumbled and one turned into the other? You conscious, mind works in a similar way, so it makes sense to simplify things by effectively reducing the number of “characters” you have, combining all of the positive traits in each character to form the true you.

Change is Good

Change is Good

The Four Stages of Learning

This is the name given to a theory developed by Noel Burch at Gordon Training International in California in the 1970s.

Stage 1 – Subconscious Incompetence

In this stage, you are unaware of your incompetence so, in other words, you don’t know that you don’t know. You may be completely unaware or you may believe that the knowledge or skill you don’t have is something you don’t need; you’re unaware of the positive benefits it could bring into your life. It only becomes possible to progress beyond this stage when you recognize for yourself that there’s something you don’t know and realize the benefits of changing your status through learning.

“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” – Charles Darwin.

Stage 2 – Conscious Incompetence

In this stage, you haven’t acquired the new knowledge or skill but you recognize the benefits of acquiring it. It’s having an understanding of the benefits that not only allows you to begin the learning process, but also to accept the inevitable process of trial and error you’re likely to go through on the way to acquiring it.

Stage 3 – Conscious Competence

In this stage, you have gained the new knowledge or earned the new skill but applying or practicing it takes concentrated effort; you’re effectively still learning and embedding the new pattern or “setting the stone” through careful and deliberate repetition.

Stage 4 – Subconscious Competence

In this stage, the new knowledge or skill can be applied without consciously thinking about it and the learned pattern is now so firmly embedded that it can be demonstrated effortlessly. Any knowledge or skill you have acquired to the level of subconscious competence id something that feels like second nature to you.

Knowledge in this sense is power.

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Power of Acceptance by Annemarie Postma

The Power of Acceptance, published by Watkins Publishing is a lovely book written by a fantastic lady named Annemarie Postma. An extract from the section “stop working on yourself” from this book highlights a wonderful feature about how we are complete beings. We just need to relax and accept ourselves just as we are.

Acceptance Image

Acceptance Image

The Guru in You:

Only you can do it. There is no one outside of yourself who will bring you freedom or who holds the key to your happiness. There is no magic solution outside of yourself. The only solution is to become hyper-aware of what your unconscious motivation is. The only really meaningful question to ask here is: what really keeps me from doing something pleasant, something to ensure that I am satisfied with my life? To find out, it is essential that you learn to have a closer examination of your inner convictions, feelings and thought patterns.

Difficult? Yes! Mostly because those inner convictions, the ones that cause most of the misery, happen unconsciously. Therefore you cannot work on them directly, even if wanted to. It’s just up to you to become aware of them. But this is the beginning of an interesting and exciting journey. Because as soon as you involve the unconscious with your current reality, you will start to see the cause-and-effect connections. As soon as you involve your outside world with your inner world, you will start to look deeper into and recognize the meaning behind the appearance of everything that you find on your life’s path and, in return, the cause of your pain and feelings of loss. You will start to see that everything you experience as painful and annoying is the cause of your (unconscious) inner contradictions. And that a conflict outside of yourself always points to a conflict inside. There is inner resistance somewhere, where something doesn’t flow. So you become more conscious when you begin to see what the cause is and what the effect is. There is no development without taking on the personal confrontation with yourself. You don’t need anything or anyone to do this – no workshops, coaching sessions, rites or ceremonies, spiritual illusionists, ego-tourists or someone who strokes your ego. You only need one true and honest guru and that is you.

Summary:

  1. The only way to regain joy and vitality in your life is to relax into the reality of the current moment and by embracing the aspects of yourself that you think shouldn’t or cannot be there.
  2. After all, you are a whole human being. Your “I” can govern your thoughts and say, “This part of you is allowed to be here and this part isn’t. But you aren’t half of yourself, you are whole.
  3. That wholeness cannot disappear. It is what you’ve always been and what you always will be. It’s your true nature. You don’t become whole by becoming perfect, but by allowing yourself to be a whole human being.

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Related Posts: 

HOME  |  Inspirational Words | Keep Your Thoughts Positive | Change Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts | Words To Live By | Overcoming Fear | A Reflection of Who You Are | 12 Steps to Self Care | Fear and Love Quote | Power of Thoughts | Emotions Chart | Emotional Maturity | Overcoming Self-Doubt | Please Listen Poem | SITEMAP  |

Happy International Women’s Day

Just a few words to wish all my readers a lovely and happy international women’s day. Enjoy this day to celebrate the wonderful uniqueness of being a woman.

Women's Day - 8th March

Women’s Day – 8th March

Be proud of the woman you have become.

Happy International Women's Day

Happy International Women’s Day

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Related Posts: 

HOME  |  Inspirational Words | Keep Your Thoughts Positive | Change Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts | Words To Live By | Overcoming Fear | A Reflection of Who You Are | 12 Steps to Self Care | Fear and Love Quote | Power of Thoughts | Emotions Chart | Emotional Maturity | Overcoming Self-Doubt | Please Listen Poem | SITEMAP  |